SCUM Manifesto ~ Book Review

Read the complete text here.

Years ago my partner had given the SCUM Manifesto by Valerie Solanas to me as an important text of the feminist canon. I revisit it now with a Femme Domme reading, as I have believed for several years that Females are superior to men. It is so clearly and boldly outlined in this text. While there is much to discuss in this short controversial book, there are two main points I find pertinent to our discussion. First, that men are inferior to women and second that men know that they are inferior to women, but have managed to trick women into thinking themselves inferior.




Consider the following:

"The male is a biological accident: the Y (male) gene is an incomplete X (female) gene, that is, it has an incomplete set of chromosomes. In other words, the male is an incomplete female, a walking abortion, aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples."

"The female's individuality, which he is acutely aware of, but which he doesn't comprehend and isn't capable of relating to or grasping emotionally, frightens and upsets him and fills him with envy. So he denies it in her and proceeds to define everyone in terms of his or her function or use, assigning to himself, of course, the most important functions -- doctor, president, scientist -- therefore providing himself with an identity, if not individuality, and tries to convince himself and women (he's succeeded best at convincing women) that the female function is to bear and raise children and to relax, comfort and boost the ego if the male; that her function is such as to make her interchangeable with every other female."


I am a feminist intellectual who believes in Female Superiority. Bring Me books and rub My feet, Incomplete Gene!

Whip Smart ~ Book Review

When I first heard about Whip Smart by Melissa Febos, I must have had a crush on her about dozen different ways. First, she's a former Domme. Then she's published a book about her experiences. She runs a series in NYC. She has an MFA in Creative Writing from Sarah Lawrence. She teaches writing classes at a college. Her website is actually pretty cool. Okay, and finally, she is smoking hot. To my credit, I crushed on this last since I didn't see a picture of her until AFTER I found out all these things. That being said, I was really looking forward to reading her book. It seems to have caused quite a flutter. I'm saddened to say that I was really disappointed.

I'm not sure how someone can take BDSM, NYC, heroin and hot bisexual women hooking up, and make a boring story, but in that Febos succeeds. This book really had more to do with her drug use and struggle to stay clean--we are not taking about recreational party drug use here, we are talking about doing speedballs and shooting up before sessions.

The story is cliche: white suburban middle class oddball goes to NYC to find other oddballs, realizes shit is expensive and becomes a sex worker since the high hourly wage will not effect other recreational, artistic activities. I was forcing myself to get through the majority of this book--partially because I didn't find it very interesting but also because of the heavy drug use. I agree with Mistress Matisse's quip that it could have been called Needle Sharp. Read her well-written review in the Stranger here.

Then I ask myself: What am I really expecting when I read these memoirs? NONE of them admit, Hey, I really liked doing this and I was good at it. I made money, then I stopped. Now I write.

And I'm not really sure what the writers are expecting when they write it, but it seems to be something along the line of, Hey, I did this for a couple of years, barely enough to make a drop in the bucket so no one in the scene actually remembers or knows who I am until maybe when they see my new book. I had bad experiences in the sex industry, mostly due to my own problems BEFORE entering it and many CAUSED while in it, but hey, here's my book. Now I'm a writer and an adjunct.

Maybe I'm just reading the wrong memoirs. Anyone have any suggestions? (I have been reading The Unauthorized Autobiography of Master R, which I find fantastic and will post review when I'm finished.)

Callgirl ~ Book Review

At this point, I've written reviews of a fair amount of sex worker memoirs. I picked this one in particular because Jeanette Angell, was highly educated and oncemore a professor. Having lofty academic and publishing goals myself, I like to console myself, "See? Someone else is doing this, you can too." (Except, there seems to have been a discrepancy about the validity of this story along with her so-called degrees.) Although, now that I think about it, I have yet to read a memoir from someone who wasn't college educated.

Jen's "rat bastard" boyfriend clears out her banking account and with her teaching position as a lecturer, barely scrapes by so she decides to work for an agency in the Boston area during the mid-1990s. She moved to the US from France at 21 and begins escorting later than most, her mid-thirties, but she apparently looks younger. She never lets us forget that she is intelligent and educated. But I'm not really sure I see it.

And it's not because as others suggested, that going into sex work is a stupid, ill thought out decision, but because for someone who prides herself on being so intelligent and educated, she never demonstrates it in her line of work; either at her day job or night job. It's not that she became addicted to drugs that were always around her; she was a high functioning addict who still managed to teach her classes and even develop new ones, one on the history of prostitution--which is relatively unheard of for an adjunct. It's not that she continually makes bad choices in men that leave her devastated. But it's that she has a certain naivete that never lessens in her journey which does contribute to her addictions and bad choices.

What struck me as indicators for evidence contrary to her professed intelligence and education was lack of safety protocol, lack of knowledge of laws and her lack of interest to make money.

As with any story, there is plenty left out, but what concerned me is the lack of safety protocol, trusting a woman she never met to send her out to hotels and homes. She never mentions the internet in this memoir, so I am unsure if message boards existed then or if she just did not know about them. When Jen starts meeting other women from other agencies, she is horrified at the stories she is, not acknowledging her own terrible stories through her current agency. I was flabbergasted that she believed the same woman, Peach, that if you ask a client if he's a cop, he has to tell you.

It's hard to calculate what the going rate in Boston in the mid-1990s was for doing outcall, especially with inflation, but even still, it seemed low for a rate of $200/hour total. And Peach always told her, "the 80's are over, no one tips anymore." But there seemed to be an endless supply of coke. Usually, a serious working girl knows, her time in this industry is short so you have to figure out the way to make the most money as possible. She never mentions thinking about ways to make more money, other than to sometimes get the client to extend the session.

But what saddened me is that she by and large seemed drifting and lonely for most of this period in her life. She told no one about her line of work, except her friend Seth. They were never lovers and he seemed okay with her new line of work; they enjoyed many conversations and fine dinners together, until one night he lays out cash and asks her for a blow job. Reading this, my heart wrenched for her, that the one person she decided to confide in, betrayed her, and it wasn't just in that moment that he betrayed her, he had been betraying her all along.

Later, she falls for a client. The old adage is true, Never date a client. Is it her fault she fell for him? Absolutely not. He was attractive, charming, educated and intelligent. It was her fault for dating him, which might not have happened if she didn't think that she needed to starve herself of non-professional sex and relationships, because no man would accept her job or she would always have to lie. She knew she was beautiful, smart and sexy, so of course she believed him when he told her these things, but unfortunately, it was only a cruel game for him to get a "hooker for free." Also odd is that while she considers sexuality fluid and could be given the mainstream label of bisexual--she never mentions pursuing a relationship with a woman; she ends up marrying a man.

Tragically, she tells about an encounter with a client, so violent and not consensual, it could only be classified as rape, but she considers it a bad night out. Jen talks to another girl about the client who raped her and this girl, a regular of his, says that she believes she's doing the world a service because the client will pay her to do vile sexual acts with her and not rape a woman on the street. I was dumbstruck. They never mentioned that this was a person who hated women, they he was in fact raping them; they never suggested he should be black-balled and forewarn the community. Interestingly, when another working girl reveals she was gang raped through a different agency, Jen considers what happened to the other girl a rape; Jen actually says she is thankful to be at the agency she is with.

She ends with an afterward regarding sex slavery and trafficking. I agree with her that prostitution should be legal, but I do not think it would have the effect she thinks of regulating and thus ending the human trade. Unfortunately, sex trafficking happens because the most vulnerable, woman and children, can be easily coerced or taken away from families and their homes and forced into this work. It happens because parts of the world are poverty stricken, uneducated, and women and children are treated like property or possessions to be sold or traded. It happens because sex work yields a high profit for a low cost of operations. But mostly, it happens because we let it happen.

Belle du Jour ~ Book Review

Creating a persona as a literary device is nothing new. Lorenzo Carcaterra, author of Sleepers, claims his story of horribly abused children in a New York State Correctional facility is true, while the correctional authorities and the Manhattan District Attorney deny this story. Notably erotic novel Story of O's author was clouded in mystery, first believed to be a man, then recognized as a woman, eventually claiming she wrote the book as a series of love letters to her lover; yet her non de plume was itself, a non de plume. Most recently, the scandalized account of Girl Boy Girl, how I became JT Leroy, when it was revealed that the gay-male-ex-truck-stop-prostitute-turned literary-wunderkind was really the actual author's sister-in-law.

My point is, that it hardly matters from a literary standpoint; these are great stories. Some of them are great writers. However, most likely, we would have never paid attention to them if we had not been beguiled to believing them to be TRUE stories by the people who lived them.

That being said, Belle du Jour is a helluva book. It's also, as David Cross's voice echoes in my ears, 100% total bullshit.

In Belle du Jour's case, I'm going to consider this the Nancy Drew Syndrome. Many of my readers are male, so let me familiarize you with the detective. Nancy Drew is an independent young woman who gets into all kinds of crazy trouble investigating potentially dangerous dancing puppets and hidden staircases. Her circle includes a doting, rich father, no mother to bother her, a loving boyfriend and two gal pals, one of which is tom boyish Georgia "George" Fayne and super girlish Bess Marvin; read dyke and lipstick femme. What a wonderful life! Also 100% bullshit--obviously, as fiction--but appealing to teems of young girls for whom Nancy Drew has everything--also, a doting housekeeper. The whole thing is just too good to be true, Nancy and Belle just have way too many cool adventures with a doting entourage. My claim of 100% bullshit is based on two basic principles: 1) there isn't enough time to do all the things claimed to have been done and 2) there are too many fantastic things going on to have all actually happened.

First, there does not appear to be enough time for all events to occur. Every time she mentions a lover, it's something along the lines of: I dated him several years ago for several years. How old is this brood? Not to mention all the amazing sexual encounters she had before becoming a sex worker. The fact that she posts daily, because everything is supposed to be happening in real time, makes it easy to overlook the obvious time problems, but they still exist.

Second, it does not seem plausible that so many fantastic things occur. I believe its possible to have a group of close male friends. I believe its possible to remain friends with old lovers. I believe its possible to have a steady boyfriend who is okay with his girlfriend's sex work. I believe its possible to love anal sex. I believe its possible for an escort to also domme. I believe its possible for a grown ass woman to call her father "Daddy." I believe its possible to have an encounter with another sex worker in the bathroom of a pub where she pours her heart out to you, a stranger, about her "notorious" attack SEVERAL YEARS AGO. I just don't believe its possible nor bloody likely for all these things to co-exist in one body, that of Belle du Jour.

However, going beyond the Nancy Drew Syndrome, I believe she (or he) used new media to get into classic print. I contend that this entire blog was pre-written and posted daily with the hopes of eventually getting it published as a book. The writing itself is very good, beyond standard sex worker memoir or even blogger writing. It is professionally done, it is amazingly done. And it was definitely pre-written--pre-meditated even.

Don't get me wrong, I think there are many intelligent, highly educated sex workers out there loving their jobs and having amazing sex on and off the job, Belle du Jour just isn't one of them. Enjoy the fictional memoir--I did. It was sexy--particularly appealing to me were her kinky encounters were she subs. It was funny--when a client asked her how to make her cum, she told him it would take six goats, an old press and the proper alignment of the stars. It was smart--it just isn't true.

And if I'm wrong, if Belle du Jour actually exists and is so wonderful as she so claims, then, at least she should be capable of defrosting her freezer.

Two Knotty Boys Show You the Ropes ~ Book Review

This book is nicely laid out with large color photos. It breaks down the bondage into five sections: the knots, basic, decorative, dominance and sex bondage. In other words, something for everyone. If you are like me, you utilize all sections within a single enjoyable evening.

This is a pretty sexy book about rope, but I found some of the pictures seemingly straightforward, but were rather complicated in action. I don't think this is necessary fault of the Knotty Boys, I just think it is very difficult to show someone with text and photographs how to tie bondage. They show a few impressive knots and systems that look great upon which you can expand. However, it does not, for example, go into how to safely rig someone for suspension.

Someone actually made me a rather thoughtful binder of all knots, not just kinky ones, but functional ones. I can still use them for sinister purposes. Eco-savy BDSM tip: befriend rock climbers and ask for their retired rope. Take out the core and you will have tons of great bondage rope that will impress Midori.

Like Mae West said, a girl who knows the ropes is less likely to be tied up.

Sex Collectors: The Secret World of Consumers, Connoisseurs, Curators, Creators, Dealers, Bibliographers, and Accumulators of "Erotica" ~ Book Review

I picked up this book because the cover reminded me of Méret Oppenheim's Object, the infamous fur lined tea cup.

The subject matter was fascinating, save the private collections of toys amassed by myself and similar kinky individuals, I had not given much thought to serious collectors of erotica. It was an amusing read, though a bit rambled and disorganized. Geoff Nicholson concentrates on only a handful of collectors and dedicates about a chapter to each. He almost always notes that this is an expensive hobby and most of the collectors are of a certain age. Perhaps because this, its never quite revealed about the personal sexual preferences of the collectors, but I think its a given one cannot be so taken with collecting erotica, if one wasn't specifically interested in the actual subject matter.

He visits the Kinsey Museum, possibly the most interesting thing to do in Indiana, which reminds me I should really read the Kinsey Report too and see the movie. Kinsey collected everything he possibly could about sex in addition to his extensive interviews. Nicholson touches on one such interview of a man who has countless sexual encounters with all beings of all ages, which was truly sickening and sad, but how Kinsey as a scientist could not turn him over to the authorities because he was merely recording (or collecting) his experiences. It pointed out a good deal of vintage erotica books that I would like to read.

This was a pretty amusing, quick read.

Indecent: How I Make it and Fake it as a Girl for Hire ~ Book Review

I knew we were not going to get along the moment I read "Hemingway still sucks" in her acknowledgments.

It begins with her adolescent realization that working minimum wage jobs suck and that she could still be a feminist and be a sex worker. So she wanders into a sexy place and fills out an application. I found it really amazing that she never even knew what she was applying for. I could understand that she being a punky feminist living in grunge Seattle had never shaved or owned anything overtly sexy like thongs, but her acting surprised that she would have to do these things if she wanted to work in this sexy place--what would she be doing--was amazing. I thought the language was a bit overwrought and chatty, much like the bowels of livejournal tends to be.

I read a bunch of reviews on Amazon and found them all suspect and like they were clapping for someone in the special Olympics. Why do you think she is intelligent? Is it because she was capable of post-modern thought while simultaneously being a sex worker? I wouldn't really classify her as intelligent, but wouldn't go so far as to say she was stupid either. However, saying her writing about sex work is interesting is about as obvious as global warming. Duh. It's about SEX. Of course it's interesting. Could someone ever write about sex work and be boring? Let's stop clapping. Thanks.

But then, despite of myself, I actually started to really like this book. She so accurately describes the stench of sex worker institutions--thick with perfume, stench, cum and disinfectant, thick with thickness. If you have never been to one, this is as accurate as its going to get. Imagine people doing their dirtiest of functions in a place that never opens the windows and must saturate every surface, even the air, with chemicals to mask the smell and risk. Once I went out after a session and my friend frowned at me and said, You smell like the dungeon.

She nails the smell, she nails the waterlogged magazines constant in dressing rooms, she nails the napping--some of my fondest memories of working in a dungeon are taking naps on the bondage bed. I never really thought about how similar lives of other sex workers were to the ones of me and women in my dungeon. Until recently, I've never even been exposed to sex workers other than Dommes.

Are we all so similar? We do feast when money rolls in, and sell our things when money's tight. We're in a constant state of overly made-up and teetering off the edge of sanity. I never felt the same sense of competitiveness as she did with her co-workers nor have I felt like my stuff was going to get stolen, and I agree with her that most women choose to do sex work for obvious and good reasons, however, in a certain sense you have to be a little nuts to be in this business at all. Even if you are not before you start, you're going to be a little nutty doing this work. Yes, there are truly amazing people you meet, but at the same time you are constantly exposed to depravity, sadness, and fragility. What really struck me is that management seems to be more fucked up than the women actually doing the sex work--they admonish her for posting her own ads, they are upset when she protects her health, they are happy when the girls fight. Bad management is a consistent problem throughout the labor market, but it is beyond me why managers of sex workers, one of the most lucrative businesses with little overheard would deliberately hurt their profit makers. I wonder, are there any memoirs by those who ran sex worker institutions? Beyond "Madams" that is.

She's remarkably perceptive regarding what her clients want and how best to extract the most money from them. I'm glad she touched on how so many men seem to either not care about being in another man's filth or cum, or might actually enjoy it as she describes how they would lick the glass at her peep show obviously fraught with cum. She begins unshaven in Seattle and ends up stealing from a client in New Orleans. I enjoyed her ten year journey in the sex industry--I recommend reading this book both for the client and the sex worker.

I liked her "point system" when she's assessing her worth next to another stripper; being white gets more points, having lots of tattoos loses points, etc. But what I loved most of all, was her correct assessment, that in the end, being beautiful in this industry doesn't make you the most money, being the smart girl does. :)

Bound to be Free ~ Book Review

I have read many books about BDSM and I find many of them sadly lacking. Two reasons exist for sub par BDSM literature, first, these books are written by someone who is first a BDSM practitioner and second, a writer. While a person may be very knowledgeable in his/her field, it does not mean that person possesses the unique skill to convey that information eloquently. Second, it is very difficult, if not impossible to learn BDSM practices from a book, which is written for the general public who may know nothing about BDSM. I imagine publishers of a book that could end up in anyone's hands would prefer to err on the side of caution, meaning one will only read about the most basic of BDSM practices. Also, no one in the scene currently playing will be wont to give out "industry secrets" and want to protect the identity and activities of their submissives/slaves.

Having said all that, I still dutifully read these books in hopes I might find some useful information or could recommend it to others. I think Bound to be Free is one of the best books I have read on the subject for several reasons.

First, Bound to be Free is written by two people; one a long-time member of the community and the second a doctor who is interested in BDSM from a clinical standpoint. I feel that this combination does well to give a well-rounded description of what BDSM is and why people do it.

Second, this book is not a how-to manual. Instead it focuses on the history, why people are drawn to it and various opinions of individuals in the scene. There are anecdotes from submissives, Switches and Doms of all genders and sexualities. They give their opinions on the scene, roles, stigmas, problems etc.

Some of the information is outdated in regards to the kind of groups in the Bay Area or how to find a play partner--most people are now using the internet and play parties/bars/clubs as their meeting grounds.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in BDSM, especially as a novice. This is the first book you should read before getting into manuals. However, I also believe that long-time practitioners would benefit as well since it does such a good job about breaking down why we like this stuff! Might I add that this is also a superb book for kinksters to get their vanilla lovers into BDSM since it presents the subject in a matter of fact light without judgment or stigma. If your Mom accidentally stumbles upon your whips and handcuffs, give her this book so she can understand that you are not nuts.

Strip City ~ Book Review

As you may have guessed, this book isn't related to BDSM in any way but only sex work, however I wanted to share how much I enjoyed it.

Formula for sex workers turned writers: Take Girl who is edgy, artistic and doesn't really fit it. Girl leaves home and goes far far away. Girl has no money (Crap!) Girl realizes sex work as a viable option to make a lot of money while going to school or pursuing creative goals. Lilly Burana decides to pick up stripping again to get some closure and travels around the country.

Even though she was a stripper for about five years, she claims she never took it very seriously and up and quits to be a full time writer. Her first assignment is driving across country where she meets a man in Montana. (I have a crush on this man, he's from Montana for pete's sake, he does manly things and is even missing a tooth, swoon!) Lily decides to start stripping and to go about it in a more professional way, signing up for stripping school, buying custom made costumes and a shit ton of glitter. She finally learns to be a good dancer. It's a thorough exploration of herself and other women in the biz across the country. In the mix are many interviews with elderly burlesque performers and famous (and not so famous) strippers from back in the day.

She also takes some time to mention how she fought for stripper's rights in San Francisco over the ridiculous, but practically mandatory stage fees that crop up in clubs.

I like her style. I like that she's from NJ. I like that I am privileged to read another happy ending of a woman in the sex industry who is also a writer.

I was a Teenage Dominatrix ~ Book Review

If there was a category in the high school yearbook, Most Likely to be a Dominatrix, I would have been it. I’m not sure exactly how I got this reputation, possibly because I liked giving orders and being a bitch, but one year my friend gave me this book, in hopes to start my career.

This memoir is wonderful, but actually has less to do with BDSM and more about the class struggle. It is a woman's journey getting out of the trailer park and becoming educated and worldly.

Shawna Kenney began when she was 19 and then retired in her early twenties. She started working as a stripper, doing outcall in hotel rooms, but found her niche in her “favorite role” being “in charge . . . the ruler, the queen, the BOSS.” The memoir does not cover her training as a pro-domme or protocol in sessions. The sessions she describes are activities like verbal humilation, foot fetish, cross-dressing and GS, but there is some impact play. She works for a private place where she is on call for either sessions in the space or out call, which may include other ladies. Because of this, she seems to talk mostly about the fairness and generosity of her lady boss then the other women she works with. One of my favorites is her menstrual fetish client who buys her used tampons. I love a girl who never throws anything away.

I don't think she was looking for empowerment, I think she was looking for a way to pay the bills. She wanted to pay her way through college; her parents weren't going to be able to assist her and they never went to college themselves. Her description of normalcy was illustrating her humble beginnings and how she continually defied her parents and society norms. I find particularly touching her thrill of backpacking through Europe and retiterates how unbelievable it is that girl like her could go on such a spectacular trip.

This is a hot debate in the BDSM world, if one is lifestyle or professional or both. Lifestyle meaning that one incorporates BDSM as a regular part of one's life; professional being one who plays for money. There are many lifestyle players who are also professional; there are many professionals who do not incorporate BDSM into their lives outside of work. I don't think either deserves our scorn or judgment. Also, every person will only play with what he or she wants to do. Just because you advertise as a professional domme, does not mean you are going to be capable or desirous of playing with every client who wants to play with you. This happened a couple of times in the book and Kenney had that client play with a domme who could give them the type of scene they wanted. This shows her integrity of satisfying a client and keeping her limits intact.

Kenney contends that LA is oversaturated in the domme market so when she moved here, retired. She tumbled into BDSM as a way to pay the bills; she enjoyed it, she was good at it and then felt it was time to hang up her paddle, but knows she can always return to it.

Many of my friends, in or out of the scene thoroughly enjoy this book. Kenney is a very intelligent, go-getter, balls to the wall kinda lady

The Pleasure's All Mine ~ Book Review

I have been meaning to read this book for a long time, hoping it would give me insight into the life of a professional submissive. While I was a submissive, I felt it would be valuable to learn of another professional’s experience. Memoirs about one’s professional life in BDSM are few and far between, usually written after the person has left the scene, probably due to avoid giving out “trade secrets” as well as allowing her/his clients’ privacy. Or some publish personal accounts, but generally on a more educational level such as Midori or Jay Wiseman. However, although Kelly’s memoir markets her life as a professional submissive, I feel her real goal was to find some kinky sex.

Kelly starts by reminiscing of her one and only kinky boyfriend and how she misses the D/s aspect of their intimate lives. She attempts to find kink-like mates at a class offered by a BDSM group. This is a good start, but she doesn’t connect with many people. She does strike up conversation with one man, Clark, who later invites her over to his house to play, but correctly ascertains while she is willing, she is not totally ready to become involved in an extended scene. Clark later tells her about a commercial dungeon where submissives can get paid for role play, but he also warns her that many women can get burnt out playing professionally. I feel this is a fair warning; professional and lifestyle BDSM are as different as night and day. Most notably, professional BDSM does not include sex because as it stands, most of the United States classifies excepting money for sex as prostitution, which is illegal. Also, while some clients may become long-term regulars, lifestyle partners are usually ones that you spend a lot of time exploring and pushing limits.

Once hired, “Marnie” decides very quickly that she loves being a professional submissive, but doesn’t seem to have a clear idea of what that means; she seems unable to define her personal and BDSM boundaries. She allows herself to become much too physically and emotionally involved with a client. Again, this can be a difficult position to maintain because this is an intimate job. However, she enjoys it so much and realizes she can make so much more money than at her boring, dead end job, she decides to quit her straight job and work exclusively as a professional submissive against advice given to her. I feel this is another initial mistake of new professional players, while yes, this kind of job can be way more fun than filing papers and in a few hours can make your 40 hour week look pitiful, it still takes time to build up clientele to survive solely on playing. Also, there are periods of slow down and inexplicable cancellation, such as tax season as Marnie discovers when playing in New York. Even if you don’t “work” much at a straight job, you can still collect a pay check, and other benefits such as health insurance, sick and vacation time as well as many other amenities not afforded to an independent contractor.

She decides to leave the dungeon and become independent after what seems a matter of only weeks. Again, it should be noted that she seems to move through this decisions rather briskly: she has gone from exploring BDSM classes, to professional submissive in a dungeon, to quitting her day job, to finally becoming an independent submissive. While she does find players who respect her, she similarly finds Dommes who treat her merely as a submissive and not a professional player on equal grounds, such as when a Domme offers her a job as her personal assistant. I agree with Marnie that such an offer would not have been made to a professional Dominatrix.

However, throughout the rest of her scenes in the memoir, she sometimes includes sex in her sessions with clients, whether it be her masturbating, to finally having anal sex with a client.

This is a memoir; just one piece of one woman’s life who worked as a professional submissive. There is very little about what makes a successful or good professional submissive, but there are very few on the scene. This memoir serves as a guide of what not to do as a pro sub. She throws herself into the professional BDSM community because she longs for a D/s relationship akin to her one and only kinky boyfriend and because she enjoys making money being a submissive more than she enjoys working in a slow-paced office. I cannot judge her for the choices she has made, however, it seems she would have been better served searching for a kinky playmate to indulge in her fantasies because she clearly wanted to include sex in her play time.