New Orleans

Normally, I forbid my submissives to address me as "ma'am" but since I was in the South, I felt it would be a cultural castration of sorts. Nothing tickled me more when I asked a Southern gentleman a question and he politely stopped sucking my cock to say, No, ma'am, with earnest.

I was quite delighted with the warm welcome I received from New Orleans. I had several private sessions as well as a few with Mistress Erin. We certainly got our use out of her toy box and sissy wardrobe, transforming many men into our eager little sluts. One was quite eager to be my little maid and did a good job of tidying up the dungeon.

When we weren't sessioning, we were out having plenty of fun in the quarter as I explored Miss Erin's favorite haunts. During these ramblings, I was introduced to Ryan St. Germain and Mona Duvera, both lovely people I am certain to see again. It never ceases to amaze me how many wonderful (and totally hot) people I meet through this small kinky world.

I also managed to work in a photo shoot with Don Corbitt. I've known and admired his work for years and it was a pleasure to be able to work with him. I was excited to wear some of his custom fetish creations. I expect to have these photos after Halloween as he is up to his eyeballs with costume orders. He measured me for future creations--I'm planning on going to the Torture Garden party in May and would like to have some new outfits specifically for it.

Among other things, I toured Tulane, went to the clothing optional Country Club, walked about Jackson Square, ate beignets at Cafe du Monde, watched a midnight showing of Goonies--all and all a totally wonderful vacation.

Mistress Erin and Ryan are putting together a fetish night before Halloween, but unfortunately I do not think I will be able to come down. However, seeing old friends, Erin and Don, made me so happy, I'm sure it won't be too long before I traipse over to the Big Easy again.

Lifestyle vs. Professional

I am a lifestyle and professional dominatrix. What does this mean?

Lifestyle means that I enjoy many aspects of FemDom in my every day life because as I recently explained to a friend, Is there any other way?

A professional is one, who simply, like any other professional, e.g. a lawyer, gets paid for her time. You can find them via Eros, Pandemos and Maxfisch.

Sometimes people, okay, male submissives seem to be confused about the differences. Sometimes it's on purpose, sometimes it's accidental. As a lifestyle player, I do have people I play with personally, but I assure you, that I am the one picking them. I have never and will never personally play with someone who contacts me if I do not know that person and does not come with at least one good solid reference. If you are looking for a play partner, then please look at sites such as Collarme, Alt, and even FetLife. (Note: I personally use all these sites for both professional and lifestyle needs of a female dominant.)

I have met many who consider themselves lifestyle and professional. I have met those who are only lifestyle. I have met those who are only professional. I think it's important to distinguish the differences, but not necessary to discriminate against those who wish to tailor their involvement in the way that they see fit.

Hedonism in Jamaica

It could have been the haircut. It might have been the latex. It probably had something to do with my sassiness. But somehow all these magical elements combined and I was off to Jamaica for a week with a group of like-minded, kinky individuals--BDSM performers showcasing at Hedonism II for a week.

Most of the crew was from LA with a couple of additions from New York, Master Vito and his submissive; and aerialists/firespinners from Reno whom I promptly renamed the Reno sprites since they left a trail of glitter and delight in their wake. Tommy O. was there to attempt to photograph our deviant, hellacious entities.

We caught the tale end of another event, the Penthouse Key Girls. The one that took the cake was a lady we affectionately called "Candlewax Girl." Her performance included several lit candles and a sheet. I knew where this was going, but the audience seemed perplexed. She invited a couple of them up to the stage. She gave them candles, flipped herself over and instructed them to pour the white hot wax into her girly bits. I was delighted. She then dripped it across her magnificent breasts. Finally, she ended with her legs stradled over her torso like a contortionist and dripping hot wax into her ass. At that precise moment, I realized, life couldn't get any better than this.

But of course it did when our crew took over! We had some hot suspension from Master Vito, angle grinding sparks from Snow and Noir Halo, and oh just about everything else we were allowed to get away with on this island. The performances were really playful but steamy, it was a pleasure to be seated and comfortable while perving. I enjoyed seeing performances out of context where I could really concentrate and watch as opposed to being in a club where I'm distracted.

We did the resort stuff like laying about nude on the beach drinking fruity frozen concoctions. We went to Rick's Cafe, the infamous bar at the edge of the island where people dive off the cliffs. A couple of people from our group dove off the cliff; one Reno sprite managed to do flips that earned local praise. I went kayaking and sailing. Most of our time was spent saying, Damn, we are so awesome.

And we are.

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE

I attended a fetish party last Saturday called PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE. It was my first time there (it was on a hiatus for several months) and it's open to over 30 couples only. Luckily, I had a very lovely tgirl to call my date. She is quickly becoming my favorite latex clad thing to cling to and perve on--playing with her has also been a delight!

Earlier in the day I had played with one of my favorite clients, a serious pain slut. He is one of the few I use my heavy knotted cane with--at the end of the session we are both trembling. I might have been too hard on my hand though because it felt rather useless and I restricted myself to more sensual play and perving on all the other lovelies in attendance. It's been awhile since I have been to a private play party and it was such a pleasure seeing people truly engage in BDSM for the fun and not for the show which sometimes happens at clubs. Full nudity is also better suited to play and I find the mandatory duct tape on nipples policy ridiculous and another useless remnant of puritannical society in modern day "liberal" America.

There were a lot of sexy, kinky scenes going on that I won't go into detail about for obvious reasons, but I will say that everyone appeared to be having a great time; and also, very important, was playing safe. Am I turned on when I see a single tail crack a slave's back? Yes, but I'm also touched when I see the Mistress end the scene with band-aids. Hehe.

Hot for me was accidentally wondering into an involved scene and being quickly pulled into the heart of it . . .

But aside from play, I had a wonderful time, looking fierce in latex with my thigh high boots and chatting with guests. Tommy O was kind enough to set up a photo area and captured this picture, which he called "the money shot." Indeed.

Unfortunately I will be in New Orleans for the next event, which is being held on the first Saturday of every month, but I will definitely love to go the next time it runs and I am in town.

Kink vs. Vanilla: what's normal anyway?

I've been making an effort of late to seek out and interact with people outside of the BDSM community. Although, I have been having a lot of fun at various kink and kink-related events, I thought it would be good to be in situations where I am not known as Ms. Justine, because suddenly I panicked and thought, Oh no. What if I have gone too far down this latex-lined rabbit hole?

So off I went to find "vanilla" people and things to do. Where do I find them? Where do they lurk? Friendster? Like most people in LA, I am almost famous and like to talk about myself. So purposely being in a situations where I vowed not to talk about my work or alter-ego, I found myself . . . strangely quiet. And in the end, the vanilla person figured out what I do anyway or I started talking about it at this vanilla event. Mostly because I couldn't answer the question: So, what did you do last weekend? Suddenly I would see flashes of latex, fake eyelashes, entire hands shoved up orifices, certain liberties being taken with someone's bum, thick black leather collars, my hand on a throat, the purple hum and snap of a violet wand--and I would say, Um. You know. The usual.

And then I realized something, partially prompted by the following: a Mistress had written about herself that she was the alter ego of some other girl, but now the two are one person. On Twitter, someone commented about her annoyance that people make up Facebook accounts with their fake "identity" [using a professional or play name.] I responded, This IS my real identity. This just isn't my real name. :)

I am a kinky intellectual. I love tying people up, slapping them silly, making them bleed, making them cry. And I love books, museums, NPR, poetry. I am one who fully relishes in all of the above!

I had been thinking about this a lot because the very first conversation you have with a "kinky" person is about what you are into--and I was thinking maybe I should have a conversation that does not include me excitedly remarking on the awesomeness of my knotted cane and feeldoe, because maybe that was not "normal." Then I came across this column from Mistress Matisse which I think does a good job of summing up vanilla intimacy. She too went out at one point in the "vanilla" world on a personal mission. I realized I couldn't go back to a place that didn't involve kink, but nor could I have a life that doesn't involve intellectualism.

I don't know what's "normal." I just know how to have a good time.

GwenMedia Prom

I went to the GwenMedia Prom last week that served as the farewell party for Isabella Sinclaire. I must say this was much better than any prom I ever went to. Not only was my date extremely foxy, but I actually knew (and liked!) the people at this prom. It was a pleasure meeting new people as well as continuing to get to know some lovely people I have been introduced to of late. The decorations were fun and festive, I love hot pink! Music was enjoyable--you can't go wrong with 80's pop rock. Comparing it to other proms, there is no comparison. I'm very glad I went. Although, since it was not a play party, I did practice restraint, knowing what wonderful implements were in the wings!

Are you a cop?

As a follow-up to an incident that occurred in my previous post, I cannot believe this rumor is still widely circulated, but I still hear it. What's worse is it's from educated and intelligent women working in the sex industry.

I do not intend to make my blog a PSA for sex workers, there are many better providers of information (I've listed some in my links section) but I have heard this recently and it came up in Callgirl, from a "highly educated" woman, believing, as her madam apparently did, that if you ask someone if he's a cop, he has to say yes.

Think about it. A cop goes undercover for months, infiltrating a powerful Russian mob network, one day over vodka, Vladimir looks at his new friend "Boris" and says, "Hey, wait a minute . . . Boris, are you a cop?"

Does Boris, look down at his shoes, stick his thumbs in is waistband and go, "Aw shucks, Vlady! You got me! Jig is up. I guess I'll go back to the precinct now. No foolin' you!"

Then Vlady goes, "Aw, hell Boris! You know fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again."

Trust your instincts. Screen your clients. If you think something's amiss, whether because you think your client is a cop or dangerous, turn tail and walk away.

Getting busted is a risk to be avoided, but unfortunately sex workers have other risks to consider. The sad truth is female sex workers are more likely to be victims of sexual and physical assualts, and even as recent crimes suggest, the victims of serial killers.

Read the Snopes article and watch a clip from one of my favorite shows, Law & Order.

On a lighter note, strippers as cops is passe. Personally, I like my cops in latex. There is certainly a "cop fetish" in the scene. Once, while leaving a club, my friend Spanks, asked, "Is that a real cop or a fetish cop"?