Strip City ~ Book Review

As you may have guessed, this book isn't related to BDSM in any way but only sex work, however I wanted to share how much I enjoyed it.

Formula for sex workers turned writers: Take Girl who is edgy, artistic and doesn't really fit it. Girl leaves home and goes far far away. Girl has no money (Crap!) Girl realizes sex work as a viable option to make a lot of money while going to school or pursuing creative goals. Lilly Burana decides to pick up stripping again to get some closure and travels around the country.

Even though she was a stripper for about five years, she claims she never took it very seriously and up and quits to be a full time writer. Her first assignment is driving across country where she meets a man in Montana. (I have a crush on this man, he's from Montana for pete's sake, he does manly things and is even missing a tooth, swoon!) Lily decides to start stripping and to go about it in a more professional way, signing up for stripping school, buying custom made costumes and a shit ton of glitter. She finally learns to be a good dancer. It's a thorough exploration of herself and other women in the biz across the country. In the mix are many interviews with elderly burlesque performers and famous (and not so famous) strippers from back in the day.

She also takes some time to mention how she fought for stripper's rights in San Francisco over the ridiculous, but practically mandatory stage fees that crop up in clubs.

I like her style. I like that she's from NJ. I like that I am privileged to read another happy ending of a woman in the sex industry who is also a writer.

D/s Grammar

As a short follow-up to my earlier post on how to write a proper letter, I thought I should add, I am not a fan of D/s grammar. It really annoys me. I would much rather have a submissive and respectful tone in a letter than all the Y/you, M/me, W/e, I/i because "I/it I/is I/inane." Thanks!

How to write a letter

Although I feel this has already been addressed rather eloquently by my friend Mistress Erin--I believe it bears repeating. It seems that many people need a thorough lesson on how to write a letter. Please consider the following:

First of all, understand that if you are writing me a letter, you are probably interested in a professional relationship, while that may be a very personal one, you should still address me by my name. And since you are writing me the letter, I hope you know what my name is. If you leave out my name, I think you are copying and pasting a letter to send out to all Mistresses which is distressing enough, but then conveys to me there is nothing about me that interests you in the first place!

I understand there is a rampant internet and society based disregard of basic rules of spelling and grammar, however, note that I am a very conscientious writer that appreciates attention to detail. You should spell check and capitalize your letter, if you don't, I do not take you as seriously as someone who does take the time to write me.

Second, please tell me who or what referred you to me. Tell me a little about yourself, what are you looking for, what are your experiences, availability. Again, if you do not tell me what made you write me in the first place, then I think you are sending out the same letter to everybody. This is not craigslist, folks. I am seeking serious players, novice or expert, who would like to enjoy the company of an intelligent, beautiful and skilled Mistress.

Thank you. I look forward to reading your letters.

Website has been updated

Just a few minor tweaks to be noted. I have a few new lovely pictures up and my bio has been changed accordingly to reflect my current interest. I expect a major overhaul of my site in the next few weeks thanks to my dear friend Mistress Foxxy.

I need a new coffee table

For some reason, people do not like my coffee table, so I am putting in a request for a new one. I need something smooth, sturdy, capable of holding my books and magazines, the occasional cup of tea and my feet while I watch t.v. or read. Of course, when my friends come over, it would need to be able to support several pretty feet. But I just need something that will get noticed and complimented. If any one knows where I can get my hands on a good coffee table, please let me know. Thanks!

D.C. Madam

I am very saddened to hear about the apparent suicide of the D.C. Madam. This greatly grieves me for many reasons. Most of which are expressed in the following:

Damnit--D.C. Madam Hangs Herself

Leather on leather

Attention, I have some lovely leather additions to my wardrobe available for worship. Sadly, I do not have a pair of
leather gloves to complete my attire.

Mail order slave

Just the other day the catalog Uline arrived in my mail box. Usually I recycle such riffraff, but today, I flipped through and happened upon some stellar industrial plastic wrap (cling film). What colors! Black, purple and red are my immediate favorite colors being that they don’t have hot pink, of course.

I think the best use for such an abundance of pretty plastic wrap would be to wrap up an able body slave and have him delivered to my door. I would be so excited when my ordered slave arrived, coming home to a large box, marked “this end up.” I’ve been waiting weeks for such a special delivery. I open the box, packing peanuts come tumbling out and there stands my slave wrapped in purple plastic wrap. Too excited to look for a pair of scissors, I begin tearing the wrap with my sharp black nails. Finally, a pile of purple plastic is on the floor around the feet of my new slave. This—is not—what I ordered!

First of all, this slave is too hairy. I specifically remember checking off hairless on the order form. Well, perhaps I can work with that. I grab the dog hair trimmers and start hacking away to see if I can take this down to size. Hmmm, that’s a little bit better. But what are these two roundish objects down here? I most certainly do not require those. There’s more than one way to skin a cat. My daddy grew up on a farm and told me he used to castrate goats with just a rubber band and time. Moving quickly, I get a large purple rubber band from the asparagus and wrap it around those unnecessary things. I’m totally exhausted by this ordeal. Sitting back in my Eames lounge chair, I ponder if this should even be necessary to overhaul my specially ordered slave. Since I would rather not be brash, I decide to call up my dear friend Vanilla Girl to see what she has to say about this. Vanilla, as per usual is shocked and very interested to see the sub par slave that has arrived in my living room.

By the time Vanilla arrives, I have already found many more problems with my slave. He is pudgy, so with Vanilla’s help, we start circling all the problem areas of fat. All the while I am complaining about this utterly disgusting thing and Vanilla is aghast and appalled by my latest mail order slave. She is usually much too nice in these matters, but I am ruthless, pointing out additional problems such as his apparent lack of programming when I ask him to get into slave positions. I throw my Sharpie® down in disgust. We pack this useless thing back into the box, but don’t seal it quite yet. It is time to call the FedEx guy . . .

A Little Piece of History

Respect.

Lady Laura's

I was a Teenage Dominatrix ~ Book Review

If there was a category in the high school yearbook, Most Likely to be a Dominatrix, I would have been it. I’m not sure exactly how I got this reputation, possibly because I liked giving orders and being a bitch, but one year my friend gave me this book, in hopes to start my career.

This memoir is wonderful, but actually has less to do with BDSM and more about the class struggle. It is a woman's journey getting out of the trailer park and becoming educated and worldly.

Shawna Kenney began when she was 19 and then retired in her early twenties. She started working as a stripper, doing outcall in hotel rooms, but found her niche in her “favorite role” being “in charge . . . the ruler, the queen, the BOSS.” The memoir does not cover her training as a pro-domme or protocol in sessions. The sessions she describes are activities like verbal humilation, foot fetish, cross-dressing and GS, but there is some impact play. She works for a private place where she is on call for either sessions in the space or out call, which may include other ladies. Because of this, she seems to talk mostly about the fairness and generosity of her lady boss then the other women she works with. One of my favorites is her menstrual fetish client who buys her used tampons. I love a girl who never throws anything away.

I don't think she was looking for empowerment, I think she was looking for a way to pay the bills. She wanted to pay her way through college; her parents weren't going to be able to assist her and they never went to college themselves. Her description of normalcy was illustrating her humble beginnings and how she continually defied her parents and society norms. I find particularly touching her thrill of backpacking through Europe and retiterates how unbelievable it is that girl like her could go on such a spectacular trip.

This is a hot debate in the BDSM world, if one is lifestyle or professional or both. Lifestyle meaning that one incorporates BDSM as a regular part of one's life; professional being one who plays for money. There are many lifestyle players who are also professional; there are many professionals who do not incorporate BDSM into their lives outside of work. I don't think either deserves our scorn or judgment. Also, every person will only play with what he or she wants to do. Just because you advertise as a professional domme, does not mean you are going to be capable or desirous of playing with every client who wants to play with you. This happened a couple of times in the book and Kenney had that client play with a domme who could give them the type of scene they wanted. This shows her integrity of satisfying a client and keeping her limits intact.

Kenney contends that LA is oversaturated in the domme market so when she moved here, retired. She tumbled into BDSM as a way to pay the bills; she enjoyed it, she was good at it and then felt it was time to hang up her paddle, but knows she can always return to it.

Many of my friends, in or out of the scene thoroughly enjoy this book. Kenney is a very intelligent, go-getter, balls to the wall kinda lady