Whip Smart ~ Book Review

When I first heard about Whip Smart by Melissa Febos, I must have had a crush on her about dozen different ways. First, she's a former Domme. Then she's published a book about her experiences. She runs a series in NYC. She has an MFA in Creative Writing from Sarah Lawrence. She teaches writing classes at a college. Her website is actually pretty cool. Okay, and finally, she is smoking hot. To my credit, I crushed on this last since I didn't see a picture of her until AFTER I found out all these things. That being said, I was really looking forward to reading her book. It seems to have caused quite a flutter. I'm saddened to say that I was really disappointed.

I'm not sure how someone can take BDSM, NYC, heroin and hot bisexual women hooking up, and make a boring story, but in that Febos succeeds. This book really had more to do with her drug use and struggle to stay clean--we are not taking about recreational party drug use here, we are talking about doing speedballs and shooting up before sessions.

The story is cliche: white suburban middle class oddball goes to NYC to find other oddballs, realizes shit is expensive and becomes a sex worker since the high hourly wage will not effect other recreational, artistic activities. I was forcing myself to get through the majority of this book--partially because I didn't find it very interesting but also because of the heavy drug use. I agree with Mistress Matisse's quip that it could have been called Needle Sharp. Read her well-written review in the Stranger here.

Then I ask myself: What am I really expecting when I read these memoirs? NONE of them admit, Hey, I really liked doing this and I was good at it. I made money, then I stopped. Now I write.

And I'm not really sure what the writers are expecting when they write it, but it seems to be something along the line of, Hey, I did this for a couple of years, barely enough to make a drop in the bucket so no one in the scene actually remembers or knows who I am until maybe when they see my new book. I had bad experiences in the sex industry, mostly due to my own problems BEFORE entering it and many CAUSED while in it, but hey, here's my book. Now I'm a writer and an adjunct.

Maybe I'm just reading the wrong memoirs. Anyone have any suggestions? (I have been reading The Unauthorized Autobiography of Master R, which I find fantastic and will post review when I'm finished.)

The Notorious Bettie Page

This is has been on my list for a long time and I finally procured a copy. I was reluctant to see it, since I heard it was not very good, but being that Bettie Page is such an iconic cult object to a fetish/BDSM crowd, any movie would likely be sub par to such elitists.

I do not know much about her life, but rather enjoyed the movie. Gretchen Mol looks so damn good as Bettie Page, I'm not sure why she bothers with Gretchen. Disturbing to me was the gang rape sequence since I cannot find anything regarding if this actually happened.

It is striking to me that as a fetish model, so many of her photos are of her smiling. Even though much of her style has been endlessly copied, I still cannot think of many modern fetish models who smile in their photographs. I'm always smiling in photo shoots--I have a lovely smile and no one ever sees it. Photographers are always telling me to look stern and serious, but I'm having too much fun, especially if there is another Lady involved.

As for the movie, I love the way it was shot--mostly in black and white, then sometimes in color, but still keeping the same tones and saturation as if it was 50s color.

It's sad that she and other photographers were persecuted for harmless photography and even today, we kinksters are seen as deviants, surely I've met assholes, vanilla and kinky alike. Whatever her reasons, I'm glad she was able to take the photographs that made her such a legend.

The Standard

(Photos: Robert C.)

Latex Party! Part Two

More latex . . . more pets!








(Photos: Robert C.)

Latex Party! Part One

Enjoying my latex pet . . .











(Photos: Robert C.)

Secretary

The last time I saw this movie was years ago, before I became a pro-Domme. It blew my mind what a totally different perspective I have of these movie now.

I still like it, but not as much as I did. Much like the movie Blow had more to do with being working class and making a living than it had to do with coke, I feel like Secretary has more to do with a personal journey of recovery than it has to do with BDSM.

But what I really like about the movie always, is that it showed the difference between bad hurt and good hurt. Lee cuts herself to relieve the pain she feels of living with her alcoholic, abusive father and co-dependent mother. However, when she gets spanked by her boss, she goes to a different place to experience and process that pain, and ultimately the humiliation from her boss. And I like that it shows both characters struggling with how to deal with their love of a D/s relationship, deviating from "the norm."

To me, it's more funny than sexy, like when she tries to spank herself or when she tries to find another play partner--haven't we all been there? It's just not the same as being with someone who rocks.

Enjoy this mainstream movie that touches on D/s. I'm interested in reading the story by Mary Gaitskill that this is based on, I have recently discovered her writing and I find it dark and intelligent.