Kink vs. Vanilla: what's normal anyway?

I've been making an effort of late to seek out and interact with people outside of the BDSM community. Although, I have been having a lot of fun at various kink and kink-related events, I thought it would be good to be in situations where I am not known as Ms. Justine, because suddenly I panicked and thought, Oh no. What if I have gone too far down this latex-lined rabbit hole?

So off I went to find "vanilla" people and things to do. Where do I find them? Where do they lurk? Friendster? Like most people in LA, I am almost famous and like to talk about myself. So purposely being in a situations where I vowed not to talk about my work or alter-ego, I found myself . . . strangely quiet. And in the end, the vanilla person figured out what I do anyway or I started talking about it at this vanilla event. Mostly because I couldn't answer the question: So, what did you do last weekend? Suddenly I would see flashes of latex, fake eyelashes, entire hands shoved up orifices, certain liberties being taken with someone's bum, thick black leather collars, my hand on a throat, the purple hum and snap of a violet wand--and I would say, Um. You know. The usual.

And then I realized something, partially prompted by the following: a Mistress had written about herself that she was the alter ego of some other girl, but now the two are one person. On Twitter, someone commented about her annoyance that people make up Facebook accounts with their fake "identity" [using a professional or play name.] I responded, This IS my real identity. This just isn't my real name. :)

I am a kinky intellectual. I love tying people up, slapping them silly, making them bleed, making them cry. And I love books, museums, NPR, poetry. I am one who fully relishes in all of the above!

I had been thinking about this a lot because the very first conversation you have with a "kinky" person is about what you are into--and I was thinking maybe I should have a conversation that does not include me excitedly remarking on the awesomeness of my knotted cane and feeldoe, because maybe that was not "normal." Then I came across this column from Mistress Matisse which I think does a good job of summing up vanilla intimacy. She too went out at one point in the "vanilla" world on a personal mission. I realized I couldn't go back to a place that didn't involve kink, but nor could I have a life that doesn't involve intellectualism.

I don't know what's "normal." I just know how to have a good time.