Mistresses who do and don't?

A recent blog post from a Mistress who has decided to stop offering her services as a pro-Domme based on her estimation that pro-Domme experiences have become full-service and sexual, has made me aware of an apparent debate of Mistresses who do or don't.

And, in the words of Lewis Black, I keep thinking, did I miss a day in school somewhere?

I have never done anything with my clients outside of strict BDSM. I am always fully clothed. Oncemore, all the pro-Dommes I personally know in or outside of LA operate the same way.

Are there really so many pro-Dommes out there who are having sex with their clients? I posted the question on twitter and got one response, from a sub, who said he heard that some gave handjobs.

I've known of escorts who may dom or sub at their discretion, but on the whole, they are looking for another connection with a client, usually to have sex, not to have a full-on BDSM session.

I remember being in a commercial dungeon and being annoyed, along with my other "independent contractors" when clients came in clearly wanting more than BDSM--sometimes only wanting more than BDSM. We didn't care so much that they wanted it, we just weren't going to give it to them; we wanted to refer them to other sex workers who would give them what they wanted and leave us alone. I've long wanted to make a quiz for clueless people, called "This is the Sex Worker for You!" Here is a sample question:

Do you want your balls . . .

a. smashed
b. banging against pussy
c. grinded through your pants with pasties in your face.
d. to be touched by yourself as you talk to someone endlessly on the internet about what you would do if you were both there in the same room naked as opposed to being in different time zones with your respective spouses upstairs asleep.

If you answered mostly A's, you want a Domme. If you answered mostly B's, you want an escort. If you answered mostly C's you want a stripper. If you answered mostly D's, you want an emotional affair which although isn't a sex worker, yes, it's still cheating, and yes, you are an asshole, because this means you can't actualize what you would like to do with the person you are in a relationship with nor can you find a live person to do it with, get a life, seek help and stop using the internet.

This test is by no means conclusive, but I had no idea another answer choice was needed, i.e. if you answered A's and B's, you want a Dommescort.

Searching the internet for answers, I found the noted interview
with Mistress Y from Smith magazine where she says, "No. I don’t have conventional sex with my clients."

But it's from 2007, so maybe something has changed. I found a post from a Mistress just this month on a marketing site where she says "At no time does a mistress have sex with a client."

Dare I quote FOXSexpert: To Be a Dominatrix, where Yvonne Fullbright contends, "but the fact that they are able to avoid intercourse is the main reason your “average” women in need of cash are going this route."

Here's another domme from New York City who in her interview also says, "For the client, being dominated is 100% about sensuality but it is not about sex. There is no sex and no nudity inside a dungeon."

A thread on Yahoo answers where this is a resounding "no" to the question if Mistresses have sex with their clients

Then, there's the interview with Mistress Georgia to consider: "In California being a dominatrix is legal because there is never any sex (at all) involved in being a dominatrix."

Here's an interview from a Mistress from London who said, "There was never any sex involved in the ‘sessions’.

I am very pro-prostitution.* I think it should be legalized and even if it never is, I still think it is valid and needed work. I have friends who are escorts and would never judge someone for doing this type of sex work, it is just not for me. Why? Because I'm a fucking dominatrix!

In $pread magazine, there is a column for the weirdest request from a client. What strikes me as odd about these requests, is many of them aren't that odd, they just seemed to be misdirected to the incorrect type of sex worker. The example that comes to mind is the guy who asked a stripper to kick him in the balls. Certainly not at all odd for me, working or not, but this was weird as hell for her. Why? Because she was a fucking stripper.

So, tell me. Are you fucking your clients? Because I'm fucking not.



*I think it's important to clarify that I believe there to be three main categories of prostitution. I endorse people who make 1) an uncoerced choice to enter into prostitution. I do NOT mean 2) forced sexual slavery or 3) people who think they have no choice but to enter sex work for various economical, social, and political reasons beyond their control.