Safe, sane and consensual--NOT bat shit crazy

Every once in awhile I get a request for something odd or bizarre, sometimes I can comply, sometimes I can't, but I always welcome sincere people to share their fantasies so long as they are not illegal or unethical. This letter came to me the other day and it really disturbed me:


Ms. Justine,

I am considering hiring a professional domme to perform certain acts on a man who is effectively my submissive. I don’t wish to mislead you or to waste your time, so I must tell you that I have not definitely decided whether or not to do this. Let me outline the situation as briefly as possible.

I am not into BDSM in any of its forms, although recently I have read a great deal about it. A very dear friend of mine was sexually used and abused by a self styled dominant man, sending her into a serious state of depression. I was able to meet this man, and set him up so that I have a very strong hold over him, and he must do as I say. He has, really, no choice. I have locked him in a male chastity device which he finds both frustrating and humiliating. I intend to keep him in it for some time. It is the absolutely perfect, fitting punishment for his misdeeds. However, in spite of my best efforts, I have not been adept at apply theory to practice, and acting as a domme to give him the treatment he really deserves.

So, I am considering hiring a professional dominant to truly and deeply humiliate him and assist in the destruction of his masculinity. You are among those I am considering.

What I would like you (or someone) to do, is to pretend to be a friend of mine, and use and abuse him in much the way he did my friend. It appears to me that a great deal of what pro-dommes do is acting anyway, so this should not be difficult.

I have the following questions for you. First, would you be willing to put on such an act? Would it be a problem for you to do what you do with me present? I would like to observe, if you don’t mind. Can I rely upon you to maintain discretion and to protect my privacy – which is very important to me? Would you be willing to accept instructions from me, in advance, as to what you would and would not do?

I note that you do not do outcalls, so it would appear that I need to bring him to you. Do you have a facility that appears not to be a commercial BDSM setting? I don't want him to know that you are a professional. I want him to believe that you are a friend of mine with dominant tendencies.

I would also like to take advantage of your knowledge. This is not about hurting him – I could do that. It is about demeaning, degrading and humiliating him, and if possible, damaging or destroying his sexual identity and self image. Is there a way, other than keeping him in the chastity device, to make him unable to get it up with a woman, long term? At the very least, I want him to suffer shame and embarrassment and put him off sex as much as is possible. I want him to see himself as a sexual victim, rather than a predator.

Please let me know if you are interested and willing, and what suggestions you may have. Also, can you tell me what you would charge? If this proved to be effective, it might result in repeated use of your services.

Thank you for your time and thought.

"Miss X" (named changed to protect the stupid)




I have several questions for Miss X, first of all, are you even real?

You are not into BDSM in any of it's forms but you just met this guy and you have him locked in chastity? What do you mean by "sexually used and abused"? Do you mean he didn't make the after sex phone call or he raped her? While Dommes certainly role play, I do not have to "act" like I am abusing, using or even enjoying myself. I actually am! Also, why are you spending so much time trying to harm this man for his alleged acts rather than comfort your friend? Why would I let you watch me do something that you admitted you can't do yourself?

I really do not understand what exactly this person is after. I can't tell if she really is bat shit crazy or this is some weird attempt to watch me in action. Either way, safety clown says no.

This is not safe--I'm supposed to meet you where? with two people? one of whom doesn't know what is about to happen? This is not sane--this is ridiculous, although it could be really hot for a role play idea if I had a man who sexually abused a girl and then I revenged her by turning the tables on him. This is not consensual--I do not play with people who do not agree to play with me. In conclusion, this is bat shit crazy and I just don't play that way.